


just a shot away from you

by who_won_the_race_back_home



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F, the assassination of the archduke franz ferdinand, the early 2000's were a cultural wasteland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 03:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13673733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_won_the_race_back_home/pseuds/who_won_the_race_back_home
Summary: Sara makes Ava consider changing the timeline to prevent Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out" from happening.





	just a shot away from you

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a little warmup and then I just ended up exorcising my demons over the pain the continual radio play of "Take Me Out" caused me as a teen in 2004 (it was a lot of pain).

“I–I need your help. We have to convince Gavrilo Princip to murder Archduke Franz Ferdinand.”

Ava’s hologram had just popped up in Sara’s path to the kitchen.

“Wait, what?” Sara said.

“We have to convince Gavrilo Princip to murder Franz Ferdinand.”

“No, I heard you. You need my help? You hate needing my help.”

“The Bureau has stopped listening to me entirely and the historical record is quickly starting show that Princip either got cold feet or had a change of heart and started loving the Austro-Hungarian monarchy,” Ava said, her image flickering over the video com line. “And if Ferdinand doesn’t die, World War I doesn’t start for another five years, it looks like. And the mental gymnastics I would have to do to deduce how quickly this would wreck literally everything, including probably both of our existences, given that World War I is when you broke all of time–”

“Thank you for the reminder. Like clockwork,” Sara said.

Ava ignored her. “For better or worse, this assassination is now one of the most crucial moments in the timeline. It has to happen, or time will literally fold in on itself.”

Sara pursed her lips for a moment, before cracking into a smile.

“But, have you considered that if he doesn’t die neither of us would ever have to hear that terrible ‘Take Me Out’ song ever again?” 

“What?” Ava was truly bewildered, perhaps even more so than she typically was by Sara.

“In fact, it probably would never exist, because that band would not exist, and we would also not exist. That guy staying alive might be the greatest good we could do, to save everyone from having to listen to it.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Language, Ava. You know, the band, Franz Ferdinand? Had that one huge fucking song in, I dunno, 2004? 2005?”

Ava let out a long, exasperated sigh. “I was born in 2037, I have no idea who that is.”

“Seriously?” Sara hummed a few bars of the melody, and Ava just shrugged and shook her head. “Wait. You were born in 2037? How did I not know that? I guess it’s good to hear that Franz Ferdinand the band does not become classic rock in the future.”

“You didn’t know because I never told you. Because ideally you will know as little about me as possible.”

“Oh, Agent Sharpe, I will learn your secrets yet,” Sara said with another sly smile.

“No, you will not.”

Sara waved a hand in dismissal. “Doesn’t matter. Does this guy really have to die? I’m telling you, it’s a horrible song. My sister loved it, drove me fucking nuts with it.”

“I...yes, of course he has to die. I just told you why he has to die.”

A portal opened up on the bridge behind Sara, and Ava stepped through. “You are insufferable,” she said, tucking her arms behind her back in her regular at-ease stance.

“You know just what to say to a girl.”

“Sara.” Ava took a deep breath, calmed herself. “Can you just round up your morons so we can go get the Archduke murdered. Please.”

“All you had to do was ask, jeez.” Sara started moving towards the bridge to gather the team and set a course to 1914, but stopped herself suddenly. “Gideon, can you play that song?”

“Wha–” Ava started.

“Of course, captain,” Gideon chimed from overhead, cutting Ava off. The overlong opening to “Take Me Out” pumped in from the invisible, yet seemingly omnipresent speakers.

Just as the verse kicked in, Ava pulled a face. “Oh god, this is terrible.”

“Told you.”

“Were all of the early 2000s such a cultural wasteland?”

Sara shrugged. “More or less.”

The song continued through its first chorus, and Ava felt it slowly worming its way into her brain, looking to stay there for days to come.

“Dear god, why are we still listening to this?”

“Because life is suffering Ava, the sooner you learn that, the better.”

“Um–”

“The sooner the better.”


End file.
